Meanwhile, back in the Garden

I've had a sneaking suspicion for some time now I may be a better editor than writer.  I see potential in almost everything I read, even if it's really rough.  I have clear ideas for how it can be made better.  why I can't do that for my own work is beyond me.  Probably the same reason I can't proofread my own stuff very well.  You see what you expect to see.  But I digress.  What I learned from editing my willing guinea pig's short story is I don't have the temperament for it.  Unbelievably tedious and time consuming, I had to parcel it out in tolerable chunks and couldn't stick with it for more than an hour or two at a time.  For all you editors out there, God bless you.  I am not worthy.

So, back to Xander's Garden.  I'm closing in on the final chapters of the first draft, but I can foresee an extensive rewrite.  I'm concerned it's very dialogue heavy, so more descriptive and action narrative needs to be added to flesh it out.  I love the story, love, love, LOVE Violet and Daisy.  Unless I get hit by a bus, Daisy will get her own story in the near future.

Setup for this excerpt - Xander's Garden takes place in the 24th century on an off-Earth colony.  Betta Pallin has been given sanctuary at the Terra VI brothel owned by her mother's childhood sweetheart.  The sex providers at Xander's have all been given botanical names and, although Betta is not yet one of them, she is now known as Violet.  In this scene, Daisy is restocking her "workroom" while Violet explores.  If you'd like to read more of the story, check out Xander's Garden on Wattpad.com.  Feedback welcomed, desired, longed for, craved, and greatly appreciated.

She led Violet to her assigned working room.  Stopping short at her door, she pointed to the one immediately to the left.  “See that?  Behind that door is a narrow room with a view of mine through the two-way mirror.  My last client tonight gets off on watching me have sex with another guy, so I snagged Chrys as my partner this time.”

“Do you like Chrys?”

“Sure, he’s a good guy. Ash has a bigger cock but he wasn’t available tonight.”  Daisy grinned at the expression on Violet’s face.  “We really need to loosen you up, sweetie.  I think I have a few ideas about how to, shall we say, expand your education.”  She hummed a little tune under her breath as she stocked her cabinet while Violet wandered over to the mirror and inspected it closely.  

“It really doesn’t bother you when someone watches you have sex?”

“You can say ‘fuck,’ Violet.  Go ahead, say it.”

“Alright.  It really doesn’t bother you when someone watches you fuck?” Violet turned toward Daisy to make sure she could see the exaggerated eye roll she was giving her.

“No, in fact I get off on it.  Picturing the client jacking off watching us makes the whole thing hotter for me.  You know what jacking off is, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m a virgin, not an idiot.”  Honestly, if she’d known her virginity was going to be this much of a hassle, she would have lied about it.  “Change of subject.  How long has the merchandise shoppe been set up the way it is?”

“Forever.  Well, at least as long as I’ve been here and that’s four years.  Why?”

“Just wondering.”  She caught sight of something shiny on the floor under a padded bench.  Bending over, she picked it up.  It was a short length of metal chain with what looked like tweezers on either end. Turning it over in her hands and puzzled, she asked, “Hey, what’s this?”

“Oh, my God, I have been looking everywhere for those fucking things.  They’re my nipple clamps.” Daisy rushed over and took them from a speechless Violet.

 

Banishing the blues

Considering my latest release was pretty much DOA, my blog is currently quite aptly named.  I put more time and effort into that one than the previous three and believed it would do well.  I was wrong.  Anytime I've been faced with failure, I've tried to  learn from it.  While working my way through the five steps of grief, I tried to focus on my overall experience and not only the disappointment of Second Chances. 

So here are a few reflections on this journey in self-publishing to date, some good, some bad, some I'm still figuring out, like most things in life.

• Formatting.  What's so scary?  You use a generic font like Times New Roamn 12  pt, set your margins at .5, line spacing at single, indent at .5, and insert page breaks.  Vertically center your title page, and unless you have tables or images, you're good to go.  Save your document as "web page filtered" and upload to Kindle or Nook.  Since I have only published at Amazon and Barnes & Noble, perhaps it's more difficult on other sites.
• Develop a tough skin.  You may get poor or no reviews.  Your sales may be disappointing and your work may languish in the black pit of despair, otherwise known as rankings.
• Obtain a copy and refer to Elements of Style.  
• Editors are not joking when they complain about the excessive use of "that" and "just."  Every time you use one of those words, read the sentence again to make sure it's absolutely necessary.
• Reviews are gold, be as thankful for them as you are for sales.
• Be patient.  Overnight successes are rare.
• Be aware that although you may follow every how-to guide, blog, and writer's resource guideline,your book may not sell.  There are thousands of books published every day and it darn near takes a miracle to stand out in the crowd.  Remember, lots of those authors are following the same process you are.
• When you get depressed, and you will, turn to what makes you happy or try something new.  I am making my first attempt at editing for a writer who is even more of a novice than me and it is an eye opener as well as a distraction from my own writing woes.  It's harder than it looks my friends, and I have added respect for folks who do it for a living.
• Be patient.
• Don't count on perpetual and enthusiastic support from family and friends.  They will get tired of hearing about your characters, your snappy dialogue, and those clever plot twists.  If they don't, count yourself extremely fortunate or check them for earplugs.
• Be optimistic but keep things in perspective.  
• Keep your eyes and ears open for unique ways to promote your work.  If you've read of ten ways to do it online, so have thousands of other struggling writers. 
• Be patient.
• Hire a cover designer (I know a good one that only charges $20) and an editor.  Some reviewers will not touch your work unless it was professionally edited with a professionally designed cover.  

Did I say be patient?  That repetition was mostly meant for me because impatience has caused me problems and setbacks along the way.  One successful author advised me to not publish until I had multiple titles ready.  I have to second that advice, especially for those of you working on series.  It is so tempting to plow ahead and upload that first manuscript, and it is exciting to see your work appear in the Kindle store, but it is harder to be noticed or build a readership with only one book available.

I received a ton of advice yesterday from members of the Indie Author Group regarding how to stay upbeat and motivated.  That interaction helped pull me out of my funk.  If you get the Erotica Writer Blues too, reach out to your fellow authors.  They get it because they've probably had it.


  

The reviews are in...oh wait, they're not

Reviews.  For a self-published author, they are as coveted and valuable as sales, no matter what genre you write.  If you write erotica, however, they can be extra tough to come by.   I have blogged about this before, but the subject bears revisiting.

The best reviews are the ones that happen spontaneously and unsolicited.  Let me clarify what I mean by solicited - requested from reputable uncompensated reviewers, NEVER paid for.  Take a look sometime at a few erotica titles with decent sales and notice the lack of reviews.  I could propose folks are reluctant to leave negative reviews, but I couldn't do it with a straight face.  There are plenty who don't cringe away from giving negative reviews in other genres.  My guess is readers are reluctant to attach their names publicly to books with graphic content.

Therefore, many of us turn to review sites.  They are plentiful, even for erotica and erotic romances.  The problem we run into here is the massive number of authors requesting reviews.  Reviewers are overloaded and most are honest about it and simply can't and don't promise a response to your request.  Before I published Second Chances, I submitted review requests to twenty individuals and sites, provided review copies when requested, and guess what.  Not a one has materialized as yet.  I'm not whining (well, maybe a little), merely citing an example.

I make it a point to post a review for everything I read, unless a sizable number of reviews already exist.  It only takes a few minutes, you don't HAVE to write more than a paragraph or two, and, in most cases, you can do so anonymously.  For example, on Amazon there is a link that allows you to change your display name.    I urge you to do the same, and remember to be honest in your assessment but please also be polite.  Write about the book, not the person who wrote it.  Personal attacks reflect badly on you and obliterate any point you are trying to make regarding the plot characters, etc.

With the huge number of ebooks being published, reviews can often be the determining factor when readers choose books.  Do us all a solid and provide feedback.  You will be helping readers and authors alike.  It's a proven fact that helping others make us feel good and who couldn't use more of that.

 VISIT MY AUTHOR PAGE

Why the #lastwritten2day tweets, Jordan?

Once I open a Word document, I have no problem writing.  I have yet to experience writer's block (knock on wood) and happily type away for hours at a stretch.  What I DO have trouble with is opening that document every day.  I procrastinate, I write these blog posts, I clean the bathrooms fercrisake.  Why?  I believe I am the human embodiment of inertia.  A body writing tends to remain writing, a body not writing, eh.

I tried to stick to a goal of 1K words a day and it kept me on track until I went home to Virginia for a week to visit family.  Vacation brain set in and I didn't write a word on my novel.  When I returned home, my motivation didn't automatically kick back in.  I tried to blame it on jet lag, but not even I could buy that since I never left my own time zone.  My manuscript was gathering more dust than my furniture.

I happened to see a friend post about her struggle to embrace a healthier diet and how she was trying logging what she ate on her FB page.  She thought making herself accountable in such a public way would help.  *light bulb flickered on over my head*

What if I commit to tweeting my last line written every day  Will that make me more likely to push myself into doing it?  Yes.  So far it has, although it must be said I only started using this mind trick last week.  Although I'm not a huge Twitter user, I find I WANT to send that tweet every night.

If you'd like to join me, include the hashtag #lastwritten2day.  Give it a try; it might work for you too.


HELP ME PROVE THE OLD BAT WRONG
Everybody in high school had one, that teacher who thought she was imparting the wisdom of the ages but was actually diabolically crushing your spirit.  She once told me, "you couldn't give that stuff away."  Yes, I can and will.  For three days, beginning Friday, May 22, Second Chances will be free on Amazon.  Check out this feel-good story with a bona fide happy ending.  Thank you!

 Second Chances on Amazon

The story that refuses to die

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Terminology temperatures - ADULT LANGUAGE

When you decide you want to write about sex, or at least include sexual content in your work, you must find a level of explicitness at which you're comfortable.  Not to mention if you pursue a traditional publishing deal, many publishers have their own levels and of course, there is no standardization or consistency and their definitions are not always perfectly clear.  I get it, it's a subjective thing, and what I find tame, someone else may find shocking or offensive.
 Even
So, if I were in charge, I'd set up the gradations of explicitness by restating the same sentence as an example.  Tongue in cheek, people, tongue in cheek.

FRIGID (Medically correct)
He inserted his erect penis between the labial folds of her vulva into her vagina.
Nobody wants to read that, do they?

COLD (Purple prose)
He introduced his stalwart staff to the delicate flower of her womanhood.
Are we having sex or gardening?

LUKEWARM (deliberately vague)
He entered her.
Into a contest?

WARM (a little more descriptive)
He pushed himself into the warmth of her core.
 Now we're getting somewhere!

HOT (No doubt about what's going on)
He thrust his hard cock into her waiting wet pussy.
*fanning self and blushing but reading on*

SCALDING (not for everyone)
He pounded his enormous prick into her tight, juicy cunt.
Wait, WTF am I reading?  I thought this was a love story.

The parameters of the upper levels seem to hinge on whether or not you use the "p" and "c" words for female anatomy.  I'm assuming that's because most erotica readers are female and some are offended by these words.  Personally, I'm okay with them unless they are preceded by a derogatory adjective.  Nobody wants to hear "stupid cunt" but "beautiful pussy" ain't so bad, huh?

In my writing, I've found my sentimental style conflicts with really hard -coe terminology so I tend to stay away from Scalding.  It just depends on the story.  You don't wear combat boots to a tea party.

3...2...1...LAUNCH

The last of the short stories I planned to self-publish as part of my hands on learning experience goes live today.  With each, I have gained a better understanding of the process that will serve me well should I decide to take this route with the novel that's now in draft form.  I have tried following the guidelines in the how-to books I've read; some I will continue to embrace, some I have discarded.   For example, I cannot in good conscience price a short story at $2.99 when there are many fine novels offered for $3.99.  I have also learned there are some subjects I'm not willing to write about, even if they are trendy.  I won't be missed; plenty of other writers are filling in the gaps.

The sexual content in Second Chances is less graphic than the previous three stories, it's more sentimental and sweet, and has an out and out happy ending.  Sometimes we need that.  I've been promoting it with the tagline "No billionaires, vampires, werewolves or shapeshifters.  Just real people, real sex, real love."  Maybe that's why I feel more attached to these characters; I'm all about emotion  According to a communications style workshop I was in a few years back, my communication is 50 percent emotion, 25 percent action, and 25 percent thoughtful.  No wonder romance is my genre, huh?

Some random facts about this story:

• The story of Adam and Jenny is based on an actual news story I heard on the radio while driving home from work decades ago.  I never forgot it.
• Some of the stripper dialogue comes from a former dancer friend of mine who was one of the most intelligent people I've ever met.
• The bit about the cats at the end actually happened to our cat, Buster, the fattest cat ever.
• Claudette speaks french but I don't, so I fervently hope the online translator I used was accurate!

In celebration of release day, I'm offering a $10 Amazon gift certificate.  To be eligible, visit my Amazon author page then send me an email (jordanbuchanan5771@gmail.com) listing my four titles.  The giveaway ends midnight May 7 and I will contact the winner on Friday, May 8.  Easy peasy.

If you honor me by reading Second Chances, I would be so pleased to receive your comments and feedback.  An honest review would be welcomed; remember you can leave reviews on Amazon anonymously by simply changing your display name.  

Second Chances Amazon page