You can teach an old dog...

I received the 4Play manuscript back from Ekatarina Sayanova, Editor-in-Chief of Red Quill Editing last Wednesday.  I am slowly working through her edits in an effort to absorb and retain as much as possible of the knowledge she is imparting.  It is my goal to not only end up with a better MS, but also to learn from my mistakes and avoid repeating them!  I am grateful she includes resource links that explain her corrections.

Here's a link to concise information regarding progressive verb tenses (something I'm not sue I ever knew.)  I would not bet the farm I won't get this wrong again.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/progressive.htm

My memory and I argued over "was" and "were" quite a few times while I was working on this piece.  My memory claims a junior high teacher told us when the phrase begins with "if", you should use "were".  Several times I could not make myself do it, if for no other reason than it sounded just plain wrong.  Turns out it is not a hard and fast rule and here's how to determine which to use
http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/subjunctive-verbs

Stay tuned, more lessons to come


More about 4Play

The previously published story "Interview with The Mistress" will be re-released with the title "Interview with Mistress A."  I want to be very clear in the blurb to let prospective readers know that although the manuscript has been revised and content added, it's not a new story.

It's my favorite of the four stories, primarily because it's based on actual events and brings back fond memories of old friends.  It's the only one containing BDSM and f/f pairing in the collection and sold more copies than the other three combined.  I enjoy writing and reading D/s tales and plan to write more of Aleksandra's story in the future.

Excerpt from "Interview with Mistress A."

     She stomped over and stood in front of me, hands on hips, her brilliant green eyes flashing. “What about me?” she demanded.

     “What about you?” I wasn’t sure what she was asking.

     “If I were a client of yours, would you be tempted to break your rules?”

     As stunned as I was, I knew she wouldn’t be asking that question if she wanted my answer to be no. Moving quickly, I stood and spun her around and pulled her arms behind her back. Holding both her wrists in my left hand, I wrapped my right arm around the front of her body, keeping her motionless. I leaned down and spoke softly into her ear. “Of course I would. You are sexy, funny and smart, and I already care for you, but you are not my client. And you are not a submissive.”

     I could feel her breathing accelerate, her body tremble, and then she whispered, “How do we know?”

     I released her and turned her back around to face me. She was truly serious about this and having her body so close to mine had placed us on a path I found I wished to continue down. “Let’s find out then, shall we?”

      I felt myself slipping automatically into my familiar role. “Listen carefully. Go into your bedroom; pull the covers from the bed. Gather five long scarves and place them on the foot of the bed. Strip and kneel in the center of the bed facing the door with your eyes closed. Do not open them or speak until I give permission. Understand?” She nodded, eyes wide and a slight smile playing around the sides of her mouth. “Go quickly and show me you are capable of following instructions.” Starting out with a session barely off the vanilla scale seemed wise. If it turned out she wasn’t into it, I wanted to find out before doing anything hardcore.

     Her apartment was not large, so I could easily hear her movements as she hustled to obey my orders. I fixed myself a drink and wondered which of us was more excited. 

     Sounds coming from the bedroom ceased, and I went to see how well she had done. Comforter and top sheet removed, check. A pile of scarves waiting for my use, check. Vanessa kneeling, her golden skin glowing in the soft light of the bedside lamps. I’d seen her body before in the gym shower, but now I could take the opportunity to really look at her. What I saw was a lot of gorgeous in a tiny package. Reaching across the bed, I tipped her head downward and then tapped her knees. “Head bowed, back arched, legs apart. Submission 101.” Taking one of the scarves, I wrapped it around her head, blindfolding her. “Since we have no existing knowledge of your limits, we will learn as we go. If you are unsure, but wish to continue more slowly, say ‘yellow light’. If you want everything to stop and end the scene, say ‘red light’. Understand?” She nodded, remembering she had not yet been given permission to speak. “Good girl. You will answer this next question. Will I find a vibrator in your nightstand?” Her cheeks flushed, and a barely audible “yes” squeaked out. “Yes, ma’am or yes, Mistress is an acceptable response. ”

     “Yes, Mistress,” she replied with a little more confidence.

       She had a high-quality vibrator, which came as no surprise. In all things, Nessa had excellent taste. I switched it on and off, checking the battery strength; we were good to go. I ordered her to lie on her back with her arms and legs outstretched, and she immediately complied. I remember wondering if maybe there was truly some submissiveness in her…or if she was just getting into the role-play.

---

*Dragging out my soapbox*

The Indie Author Group on Facebook is one of my favorite resources for information from other self-published authors, some with less experience than me, but most possessing far more.  What I like best about this group is advertising is not allowed.  Ever.  No posting links to your book, your blog, no sneaking around the rules to slip in a plug for your work.  If you try, it will be deleted. That means this site will not turn into one long stream of book ads as so many other sites have.  You can actually ask questions and authors will reply!  Sometimes the responses need weeding through; like I said, some of the members are well-meaning newbies.  It soon becomes easy enough to discern the voices of experience though.

Today, I posted this on the IAG page:
"I know it's near impossible to catch all the typos and misspellings in your own work, but if you're working with an editor and proofreader, how close to perfection is it reasonable to expect? How many errors in a novel do you consider to be too many?"

The responses were plentiful.  In fact, they maxed out the limit for number of comments and the post was closed.  Some folks, like me, have noticed an increase in errors in our reading material, whether self- or traditionally published.  Some commenters believed errors are inevitable and a minimal number should be tolerated.  Some said authors and publishers should still strive to present error-free material.  It's my goal to publish a clean manuscript which is one of the reasons I'm having my next release edited and proofread.  Even so, it's no guarantee and I will be searching for a few sharp-eyed readers before publication.

I've not read a single book this year that was without typos, misspellings, or words used incorrectly.  Many of those books had multiple sets of eyes on them - the author, beta readers, editors and proofreaders.  I should point out that I'm old broad and the books I grew up with, hell, the books I read up until 5 years ago, were print books. I do not remember them having this number of issues.  What happened when we went digital?  Did we lose something crucial when we lost typesetters?  Did we all get dumber, or are we all willing to now settle for less?

Whatever the reason, it makes me sad, but it also makes me more determined than ever to publish a clean copy.  If you read a story of mine and find an error, you will not piss me off if you notify me.  I will appreciate it and express my thanks..  To authors out there, get more and/or better proofreaders.  Don't forget to have someone proof your dedications and acknowledgements.  

Editing services, a step in the right direction

As I've said before, like most new Indie authors, I attempted to do everything myself.  I made my own covers, I edited, I proofread, and I formatted.  Of the four short stories I published, two had decent covers, I found errors in all of them post-publication some of them embarrassingly obvious), but they all seemed to be formatted properly. Yay me, right?  When I made the decision to re-release the stories in a collection, entitled 4Play, I knew I needed to up my game.  Finally taking the advice of successful authors I've had the good fortune to meet, I had the cover for my next release created by an experienced cover designer (see June 17 post here).  The next logical step would be to enlist the services of a professional editor.

I know what you're thinking.  How can a newbie afford editing services?  I was certain I couldn't but I had been assuming it was out of my reach without ever actually looking into it.  What I found was a wide range of rates and services available.  Some charge by the page, some by the word, and some that fit within my budget.  How do you choose from a list of unknowns?  You ask other authors and make your questions the right ones.

• Do you use an editor and if so, who?
• Would you recommend your editor to others?
• Do you feel you received the services you paid for?
• What did you learn during the editing process?

Based upon recommendations, I contacted Red Quill Editing (visit RQE's website).  I spoke with Ekatarina Sayanova at length about my project, and together we determined what services would fit into my budget.  Here's where you need to be practical about the numbers.  Total up the expenses for your book.  Determine an appropriate list price for it, then calculate how many copies you'd need to sell to turn a profit, or at least break even.  In my case, it will be a tough go to make those sales, given I'm a new author and there is more supply than demand in my genre.  However, there will be times you have to invest in yourself.  If you think of your fledgling writing career as a business, most new businesses have to front load costs for the first two years  Worst case scenario is I will end up with a professional product in my catalog of which I can be proud and that makes it worth the money to me.

A funny thing happened as I prepared my manuscript before forwarding it to Red  Quill.  Even though each of the four stories had been reviewed, edited, and proofread multiple times before being published, I found I was looking at them through a different, more critical, lens.  I made a surprisingly large  umber of changes  Some were subtle, some significant, and a few were "oh, my God, what was I thinking?" moments.  I believe knowing my words were about to be seen by professionally knowledgeable eyes made me work harder.  I thought of it like the difference in how you straighten up your house before a friend stops by and how you clean when your mother is coming for a week.  Whatever he reason, my MS was better for it.  I'll be posting more on this topic as 4Play moves through the editing/proofreading pipeline.

A BLURB ABOUT 4PLAY - Coming in September
Can I pick a favorite story in this collection?  No, that would be like choosing a favorite dog among my pack.  I do often favor particular characters in a story or book, and usually not the main character for some unknown reason.  In the story "Second Chances," I am crazy fond of Claudette, the owner of the gentlemen's club where most of the action takes place.  She began life as a minor supporting character named Jessica with only a few lines.  Jessica didn't survive long in my imagination, poor thing, and when I changed her name to Claudette, she came to life fully formed.  I can clearly see her, a strong, proud, African-America woman of style and intelligence  Most importantly, her own life experiences made her supremely qualified to be the catalyst that would alter the destinies of Tracie and Adam.   Tough, demanding, yet graced with a mother's heart and compassion, Claudette rocks "Second Chances."

Confessions, sacrilege, and reviews

My name is Jordan and I have two confessions to make.

#1 - It has gradually become clear to me I am not an erotica writer, at least not as erotica has been defined to me.  Among the four short stories I'm releasing in the 4Play collection, only one, "Viewer Discretion Advised," qualifies as erotica  The others are erotic romance.  Is there a big difference to readers?  I think the line is pretty blurry.

#2 - I read erotica and erotic romance, but I've been known to skip through sex scenes.  You heard it here first, friends.  I know, it's shameful. On the positive side though, it means the story has a good plot and it's holding my interest.  So far, I haven't missed any plot advancement or character development.

Along those lines, here is my blasphemous statement - There is such a thing as too many sex scenes.  Somebody had to say it.  Even when it's really well written, at some point it becomes redundant.  In addition, we are cautioned, as writers, to avoid repeating significant words over and over.  Let's face it, it's not easy to keep coming up with synonyms for the acts and anatomy related to sex.  Repetition does nothing for arousal, even in straight erotica, and isn't arousal the point? 

What conclusion am I drawing here?  Don't push for a certain number of sex scenes in your writing.  If it's needed and supposed to be there, you'll know it.  I heard an author say recently,"It's time for a sex scene because I haven't had one in the last two chapters."  That sounds so contrived and formulaic to me.  Let it happen naturally as your story unfolds.   If it turns out you only have a few smutty bits in your book, don't market it as erotica.  If it's ALL "brown chicken, brown cow," maybe it's porn. JUST KIDDING.  Listen to your muse.


How about a few reviews to start the week?

Twelve Doors to Ecstasy by John Tucker - I'm typically hesitant to read an author's first foray into erotica.  I needn't have worried in this case.  Plenty of intrigue, suspense, and imagination here, along with creative sex scenes.  Plot summary:  Tryst Sanyon, dumped by her boyfriend for being a repressed prude, signs on for an experiment in sexual awakening.  Over the course of two days, she must choose and walk through 12 doors and participate in whatever sex-related activity awaits on the other side.  If successful, not only will she break through her puritanical mindset, she'll bank a cool $500,000.  Sign me up!  I can pretend to be a prude, really I can.
Twelve Doors to Ecstasy on Amazon

Bound and Freed (boxed set) by Nikki Sex - This was a Bookbub email blast find.  While the story plays out against a BDSM backdrop, there's a lot more going on than a typical Dom/sub dynamic.  Although some of the dialogue was slightly off, there were some truly lovely moments.  Plot summary  John Taylor, handsome, enigmatic and sadistic Dom, has captured the obsessive interest of submissive Kelly Flynn, who has forgotten he was part of her childhood.  The two come together when a power outage traps them in an elevator and John's demons begin to be revealed to the reader.  Warning:  This book contains references to disturbing child abuse.
Bound and Freed on Amazon

Tall, Tatted and Tempting by Tammy Falkner - I get so tired of series, does nobody write standalones anymore?  But I'm happy as hell there is more to this story. I fell in love with the Reed brothers, starting with Logan in this book.  Plot summary:  Logan Reed, hunky (omg did I just use that word) tattoo artist is deaf and lives with his four brothers.  He does not lack for bedmates but has never wanted more than sex from a woman.  He meets Emily, a secretive and homeless street musician, who won't even tell him her name.  Their romance is touching and real and one of my favorite reads this year.
Tall, Tatted and Tempting on Amazon









 

Envy doesn't look good on anybody

The green-eyed monster.  It appears in romantic relationships, sibling rivalry, and professional competitiveness.  You better believe it's present within the creative arts community, writers not excluded and it's nothing new.  Stoker and Wilde, Fitzgerald and Hemingway, Byron and Keats - all famous rivalries.  We were discussing the changes Amazon has implemented n its review system and i learned that it was in part due to bogus negative reviews posted by competing authors.  Guess they never heard tearing another person down does not build you up.

It's not hard to fall victim.  The nature of the beast that is indie publishing requires a good bit of self-promotion.  You're working your butt off, trying to get better at your craft, researching details to make sure your story has an air of authenticity, relearning the grammar rules you forgot years ago and then you see it.  A post in one of your Facebook groups from an author thrilled that his book has made a bestseller list.  The post has six misspelled words and is barely coherent and you have a WTF moment.  You read a sample of the book and it's so derivative of a better known work, you can't believe the author isn't being sued for plagiarism.

Take a deep breath and count to 10, 20 if necessary.  Your success, or failure for that matter, is not impacted by the success of another writer.  He didn't steal it from you.  Flukes happen all the time  Thank the gods not everyone likes the same thing or there would only be a dozen authors selling books.  There is room at the table and wouldn't you rather earn your seat honorably and with pride?  You're more likely to still be there for dessert than someone who lucked into it.

Congratulate the lucky bastard and get back to work on your book.


WIPS Update
I'm still working on consolidating and reworking my erotic shorts and am nearly done editing.  I'm looking for beta readers; if interested, email me at jordanbuchanan5771@gmail.com.

I have a few more chapters before the first draft of Xander's Garden is complete.  The Virgina Auction chapter is next and I'm stoked to get it on paper.

Cover me

Today I don't have the Erotica Writer Blues, in fact, I'm pretty darn happy.  I have a beautiful new ebook cover and I DIDN'T MAKE IT!  That's right, Ms. Stubborn finally, begrudgingly accepted that the covers I made myself do not look professional.  The best thing I can say about them is they didn't cost me but about $5 to make.  Looking at them critically, I'd say I got what i paid for..

Let me back up a moment.  A fellow author recommended I bundle the four short stories I have published and re-release them as a collection.  Realizing I could be cute and call it 4Play, I decided to run with his suggestion.  Instead of merely throwing them together into one manuscript, I'm revising, revamping, and even adding content.   I want to take the lessons learned while publishing them individually and create the best versions of the four I can.  It's a do-over.  You don't often get the opportunity for a do-over in life and I'm all for taking advantage of it when it happens.

Speaking of those lessons, one I learned is there are review and promotional sites that will not even look at your work unless it has a professionally designed cover and has been professionally edited.  I still need to find an editor, but another author friend introduced me to the talented Julie Nicholls, author and cover designer extraordinaire.  I know what you're thinking.  I'm a new author and I can't afford a designer.  Yes, you can.  She is insanely affordable  And did I mention quick like a bunny?  She created this cover for me in three days, one of which was helping me find a stock image, and she charged me $20.  Considering I paid $1 for the image, bargain of the century.

i can't recommend her highly enough.  She is so upbeat, energetic, and easy to work with. Click below to see more about her work:

 Mirishka's Artwork

 

Meanwhile, back in the Garden

I've had a sneaking suspicion for some time now I may be a better editor than writer.  I see potential in almost everything I read, even if it's really rough.  I have clear ideas for how it can be made better.  why I can't do that for my own work is beyond me.  Probably the same reason I can't proofread my own stuff very well.  You see what you expect to see.  But I digress.  What I learned from editing my willing guinea pig's short story is I don't have the temperament for it.  Unbelievably tedious and time consuming, I had to parcel it out in tolerable chunks and couldn't stick with it for more than an hour or two at a time.  For all you editors out there, God bless you.  I am not worthy.

So, back to Xander's Garden.  I'm closing in on the final chapters of the first draft, but I can foresee an extensive rewrite.  I'm concerned it's very dialogue heavy, so more descriptive and action narrative needs to be added to flesh it out.  I love the story, love, love, LOVE Violet and Daisy.  Unless I get hit by a bus, Daisy will get her own story in the near future.

Setup for this excerpt - Xander's Garden takes place in the 24th century on an off-Earth colony.  Betta Pallin has been given sanctuary at the Terra VI brothel owned by her mother's childhood sweetheart.  The sex providers at Xander's have all been given botanical names and, although Betta is not yet one of them, she is now known as Violet.  In this scene, Daisy is restocking her "workroom" while Violet explores.  If you'd like to read more of the story, check out Xander's Garden on Wattpad.com.  Feedback welcomed, desired, longed for, craved, and greatly appreciated.

She led Violet to her assigned working room.  Stopping short at her door, she pointed to the one immediately to the left.  “See that?  Behind that door is a narrow room with a view of mine through the two-way mirror.  My last client tonight gets off on watching me have sex with another guy, so I snagged Chrys as my partner this time.”

“Do you like Chrys?”

“Sure, he’s a good guy. Ash has a bigger cock but he wasn’t available tonight.”  Daisy grinned at the expression on Violet’s face.  “We really need to loosen you up, sweetie.  I think I have a few ideas about how to, shall we say, expand your education.”  She hummed a little tune under her breath as she stocked her cabinet while Violet wandered over to the mirror and inspected it closely.  

“It really doesn’t bother you when someone watches you have sex?”

“You can say ‘fuck,’ Violet.  Go ahead, say it.”

“Alright.  It really doesn’t bother you when someone watches you fuck?” Violet turned toward Daisy to make sure she could see the exaggerated eye roll she was giving her.

“No, in fact I get off on it.  Picturing the client jacking off watching us makes the whole thing hotter for me.  You know what jacking off is, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m a virgin, not an idiot.”  Honestly, if she’d known her virginity was going to be this much of a hassle, she would have lied about it.  “Change of subject.  How long has the merchandise shoppe been set up the way it is?”

“Forever.  Well, at least as long as I’ve been here and that’s four years.  Why?”

“Just wondering.”  She caught sight of something shiny on the floor under a padded bench.  Bending over, she picked it up.  It was a short length of metal chain with what looked like tweezers on either end. Turning it over in her hands and puzzled, she asked, “Hey, what’s this?”

“Oh, my God, I have been looking everywhere for those fucking things.  They’re my nipple clamps.” Daisy rushed over and took them from a speechless Violet.